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Nope. Just nope. Never again

Single mother with kid

This isn't going to be the nicest post. It's my personal opinion based on what I've gleaned from my own experiences. But I'm putting it up here in case others have experienced the same thing.

In 2016 I gave a good try at dating single dads because I thought "well, maybe I should try." I had been out of the dating scene a long time.

I had only had one previous experience of dating a guy with a kid, years before, and it didn't last long and I did leave because of the way he parented his kid. I guess I forgot about that experience, or somehow thought that maybe it would be different now.

At any rate, 2016 was my year to try dating single dads. No situation lasted longer than 6 to 8 weeks. I broke up with every single one of them for all of the same reasons. Flaking on and being late to dates. Never making plans for anything fun for us to do. Being so broke that they were all mooching off me in one way or another--and these were all men with 6 figure jobs, they were not poor guys working a service industry job. But they were not able to adjust to a less extravagant lifestyle (the one they had lived "for the kids") and were all either close to bankruptcy or in tons of credit card debt. These were not things they told me--I figured it out within each of those eight week periods, usually because they were weird about money and would often try to get me to pay for things that should have been shared expenses, which is something I've never gone through dating men without children.

So. One of the things I noticed is that all of these guys wanted to date a woman who didn't have her own kids. They wouldn't really tell me why, but I think at least part of the reason was that they wanted someone thin, fit, and attractive, and they felt single moms weren't attractive enough for them. The statement that "moms let themselves go" came up more than once.

Needless to say, I thought this was bullshit because moms are the ones who do most of the work of parenting and had done so where these guys were concerned too, so YEAH they were tired and maybe a little overweight because they didn't go to the gym as much or whatever. The guys seemed to be perfectly OK with letting a woman do all the thankless work so they could use the extra time they had and she didn't to keep themselves fit and look for a fit woman without kids.

Just horrendous.

I dumped all of them. And they all kept trying to contact me for months afterward.